Relationships

I am lucky I guess in the fact that I have always had the pleasure of having relationships with beautiful women. I can remember my first kiss I slipped in on the play ground of Elden Elementary on her cheek I was in love. I have decided to leave the real names out on this particular section. But she was real pretty. My first real Girlfriend was from a very prominent family in town the high school was named after her family and she was real cute. But, like the many that would come after her she started a common theme she figured something out after we got close enough, at least I think she did , I can't speak for her, what did she figure out? Well she figured out Quack ain't right in the head. You can only kick this can so long in a serious adult relationship. And, this hence is the reason I sit here today divorced. I am lucky though my ex wife is very helpful and we coparent our youngest daughter together very well. I have had alot of time to reflect on my relationships I have had in the past. In every circumstance there is almost always a manic episode that breaks the camels back. I have one particular story that still haunts me to this day. There was one particular woman that I was hoping to spend the rest of my life with that I lost cause of a manic rage. We will call her Kathrine for this little story. My playing days at Buff State had just ended and I had a Job as a GA (Graduate Assistant). With the football team. This was great I had just got done playing for five years and wasn't ready to leave. There was only one issue I had to live with is idiot from Ithaca College another GA it was his second year. Well this guy was a real prick he a chip on his shoulder and was my coach just a year ago and I had no respect for him. He was supposed to be training me on certain things but would make me do his laundry to get the training. You know the type. Well we shared a suite in the dorms and it was a nice set up. Katherine was from my home town and we dated on and off all through college and now it was getting serious. She was living in Rochester and had just graduated from BC. So she would come stay with me on weekends. Well this guy made a huge mistake one particular weekend. I was already feelin it as I had nobody to hit anymore and I was falling behind in my work so I was definitely manic, Kathrine by now knew the signs and she knew how to calm me down. I won't go into the details but she was great at calming me down. Well this particular day nothing was gonna calm me down as this guy made a bad mistake. He said something to Kathrine I didn't like and I snapped. I beat him so bad I had to hold him up to keep hitting him. And finally hung him on a metal hook like a piece of meat. Kathrine of course was very scared and crying. I couldn't stop. I finally took out my hunting knife and held it to his throat and asked Kathrine do you want me to kill him. Well folks guess what that relationship ended badly. And my days at Buff State were over too just like that. I could tell a similar story about every woman I have loved so I am telling you being bipolar and having CTE makes relationships hard.